a bunch of little diddies ...

Is it diddies? Or ditties? Or none of the above? Either way, you get the point. I took a few of those little memegen things, and hahaha. Ok. You'll see the first one and you'll know why I posted. And of course, they are ALL about OTH. Bad addiction. Bad habit show. It's really starting to suck a big one so why do I continue to torture myself? *shrug*

So without further adue,

What your life would be like if you were on One Tree Hill. by obsessive__love
Favorite Color
Best FriendErika Marsh
Person you are cheating on your boyfriend withMouth McFadden
ParentsKeith & Jules
HobbiesSports Radio Annoucing
Super Saying"It's worth nothing if you can't knock down the shot."
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Ok. Erika Marsh - Best Friend. Eh. Would have rather had Brooke. HaHa. BOYFRIEND - FELIX. RIGHT! *eyeroll* My fellow friends that are aware of my obsessivness for this show know that I CANNOT stand Felix. I've never liked him. Always had a bad bad feeling about that good for nothing boy. Person Cheating on him with -- Mouth. Well, that's an improvement to say the least. But come on, where's my Jakey? Parents -- Oh GOD, shoot me know. Keith AND Jules. One or the other... or PREFERABLY NEITHER! Yuck! Hobby - Sports Announcing.. LMAO!! OMG, 'nough said.

Now this I agree with. Super saying - "It's worth nothing if you can't knock down the shot." Tyler is mah girl! :)


Which guy from One Tree Hill, should you be with? by kay_less_than_3
guyLucas Scott
day you meetOctober 2, 2004
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Figures I'd get the cheater/liar/DUMBASS! Again, where's my Jakey? Come on now. I don't want LUCAS or NATHAN. Just Jake! :)


Which One Tree Hill Star will you date?(girls only) by Kimsters345
Lucky Number
Your Favorite CharacterCoach Whitey
Your date is...
It will take place onJuly 18, 2036
He will spend this much money on you$346,950,490
You relationship will end on:March 15, 2044
Between the first dat and last he said I love you588,381,939
Quiz created with MemeGen!

LMAO!!!!!! OMG. THIS IS JUST PERFECTION. I've always said I had a slight crush on Paul Johansson. Gotta love the evil mastermind of Dan the man. But HAHAHAHA. I freaking LOVE it!! Another coincedense. March 15. Dallas Texas. One Tree Hill Concert. I met BRYAN GREENBERG! :)


Which One Tree Hill Guy Are You Destined For? by madegirl16
Favorite Color
Favorite Band
Favorite Character
You Are Destined ForJake
You Two Will Meet OnDecember 9, 2005
His first thought about you will beI'm going to marry this girl.
Quiz created with MemeGen!

It's about DAMN TIME. That's what I thought. I will marry you, Jakey! :)


Which One Tree Hill character will you have sex with? by cherryxcutie
CharacterPeyton Sawyer (Hilarie Burton)
Where it will happenIn your uncles bedroom
When it will happenAt a family party
Quiz created with MemeGen!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Which one will I have SEX with? PEYTON? LMAO!! OMG. I freaking LOVE these things. See that'd work out all well and good if I was a guy ... or let's say if I LIKED GIRLS! But Priceless. I love it!


And that my friends is the end of my OTH madness. Have a good laugh? I really hope so. Not so much has been going on in my actual life lately. Went to New Braunfels this passed weekend. Didn't have as much fun as I would have liked but what can ya do? Other than that I'm in Roscoe. That sucks. And I got in to UNT, I'm pretty sure... Or I think? LoL. Guess I should find out for sure right? But I'm pretty sure I did.

Other than that. Nada, or I don't want to type it all out.

Leave Love, chicos & chicas!
  • Current Music
    a walk to remember - movie

life sucks.

So i've basically come to the conclusion that no one freaking believes in me at all. Sure, i'm a little drunk, and I don't care about spelling things right, right now. I'm drunk. And yeah, this could have a little to do with the way I'm feeling, but probably not. Now, that I'm drunk, I'm just more supseptiable (spe?) to feeling it all right now.

My dad pretty much thinks I'm a nothing, and that I will continued to be nothing. He compared me to to my cousin, who finished her bachelors in 2 years b/c she went to summer school. And because I haven't done that, he thinks I'm desitined to be a failure, which of course, doesn't give me too much hope for the future.

I almost wish that my lump was cancerous. Isn't that sad? So at least then, my father would realize that I am someone, and that I am human. And that I shouldn't be taken forgranted.

Maybe then he'd see that my tickets were only tickets. That things could have been worse.

Isn't it sad that when I got into a wreck going 90miles an hour with a fertilizer rig, he asked if I'd been drinking first. Not if I was okay. Or if my car was okay, that was his second worry. But if I'd been drinking.

In fact, that was my whole families concern. 90 MILES PER HOURS. And they asked if I'd been drinking. Not if I was okay. They didn't seem to care about that. Granted, my dad didn't know that I was going 90miles per hour, but a wreck is a wreck right?

Gotta love parents.

  • Current Music

no title ... just more stress ...

As if my life wasn't hectic enough. On top of all the run-in's with the law I've had that a friend that is currently in Iraq even heard about. Hmm. And I thought it was just small town gossip that went far fast. Guess I was mistaken, right. A few days ago, I got a personal email from him, telling me that he's heard that I've gotten into some trouble. Yeah, I have, but I'm working it all out, right?

Well, like I said, on top of that I've got more gut wrenching news. Late last night, as I was going to the bathroom like normal people do, I leaned over and suddenly the small area between my thigh and my ... girl spot (?) felt really sensitive. I looked down to see if I had gotten a bruse by some reason beyond me, and there was nothing there.

Then I felt the tender spot, and what do I feel? A lump.

That in itself freaks me out. There was that Real World kid, who had cancer when he was 19, so you know it can happen to anyone. You don't really think it can, but I guess it can, right?

Plus, cancer practically runs hand in hand with my family. My mother's mother (my grandmother) is currently dying of cancer. She had it in prostate, I think, first and then she did chemo, all that junk, and I think it went into remission. Then suddenly, it came back. It is also in her female area and the doctors can't do anything about it because of the position it's in so that leaves a good feeling in my stomach, I bet you can imagine.

Also, my mother's fahter (my grandad) had it. I think it was in his colon? I'm not for sure on that one either, but luckily he's okay.

And my father's mother (my memaw) had breast cancer. She lived through it too, but you know, that's a lot of odds against you, right?

To top things off, my mother had to get a benign tumor removed from her throat when I was in 3rd grade or so, and now, my sister, Ashley, has a lump in her breast that she won't go get checked out. Yeah, I know she's stupid sometimes.

I called my mother as soon as I woke up to tell her about, and she just seemed to think it was a cyst, that it was no big deal. She told me just to wait a few days, and if it got bad, then I could set up a doctors appointment. If it doesn't get worse? Don't worry about it. That makes a girl feel really great.

I know that there is a good chance a cyst is all this is. I realize that I'm probably being overly dramatic, but my own mother didn't seem to be bothered at all while, on the other hand, I am terrified. With my families history, who wouldn't be?

And Ryan Thompson pulled me into his room last night to talk about it. It was almost 3 when I found out about the lump, and if I would have just sat at home, I would have worried myself sick so I had to leave, get out, and do something. Well, DeAnna was there, who I called as soon as I found it. And then she called Becky, and I guess told Thompson.

So he pulled me in and wanted me to tell him what happened. I had already known that he knew, not because DeAnna told me that she told him, but because that boy is easier to read than a freaking book. And I know DeAnna more than she'd like to admit. I know the way she thinks, and I know she'd tell him. He said he made her, and I believe that too.

Anyway, he wanted me to tell him, but the words never once came out of my mouth. He told me about his families medical problems. About how his father was before his father got cancer, and how he turned his life around by having faith in God. I believe in God for the most part. I don't go to church because I don't believe you have to go to church to be spiritual and have faith. I don't believe that and I won't let a single person tells me otherwise. But on the other hand, I do not want to have God thrown in my face when I'm in a situation like this. It doesn't make me have faith, it makes me angry. And I don't like it.

So while he was talking to me about faith, I just nodded and half-way tuned in him out.

Then we started talking about DeAnna and the night was focused on their soap-opera drama the rest of the night. I had to tell Thompson what he didn't really want to hear, and I had to tell DeAnna to pick a boy and only that boy or to be alone. My personal preference was that she not have anyone right now.

I'm single, and I'm leaving in a few months. I realized the other night that unconsciously, when my friends started getting boyfriends, I drifted away from them. When Becky was dating Elliot and when DeAnna was dating Jeremy, my first year of college, I never saw them. I think I went out of them a total of a weeks worth during that semester. Then when Jeremy and DeAnna broke up, and Tori started dating Shiloh, I started hanging out with DeAnna again.

I just don't want to look at these couples where all they do is look at each other in that way, and kiss. I told DeAnna that the other night, and I asked her to cool it with Thompson just until I've left so that way I'll get to spend my last few months with my best friends. She said she'd try, but all last night, as I was playing worst case scenario in my head, Thompson was singing and staring at DeAnna like she was the only person in the room, and DeAnna would sometimes pay attention to him, and sometimes now. But when she did. She always had to kiss him.

Last night was the second night in three days that I've cried myself to sleep. Plus, I've been on the verge of tears ever since I woke up. Stress is a killer, right?
  • Current Music
    Johnny Lang - Red Light ...

an update

So this is to all of you that are biting to the brim of your nails (is that even right?) waiting to hear about my, um, situation. LoL. I went to the Municipal Court today, and the lady I talked to was much nicer than the lady on the phone. Turns out, the lady on the phone didn't know what the hell she was talking about. So if I do Deferred Judification or something then it won't go on my record, and I WON'T get my lisence suspened. Granted, it's like 50 dollars extra, but for the unsuspended lisence, I'm willing to pay it.

So I went with that. I have a buttload of shit to do, but I've got like 2 months or so to do it all in so I'm not that worried. My mother asked about my money today. What am I supposed to tell her? That I'm pay off an MIP. HaHa. Nope. She already was bitching about the speeding ticket.

A couple day later, even though I'm still going to have to pay a shit load, things are looking better.

I can convince my parents, I'm sure to pay for my actual speeding ticket that they know about. They probably know they are going to have to anyway because I don't have a job or any income. So yeah.

And my little sister didn't splurge when she went to the mall today just so she could give me the rest, plus 25, plus like 50 in change. That's why God invented coinstar.

Oh yes, and I didn't get stopped on my way home. GOOD JOB AMBER.

Other than that, I'm bored with typing. And nothing happened.

So ta ta.
  • Current Music
    the phantom of the opera - all i ask of you

wow, my stress meter is sky rocketing ...

Ok so breaking news. My MIP is 370 dollars, including court costs. I don't have 370 dollars, I have 260 dollars in my bank account. Plus, I have a speeding ticket to take care of too. Just PERFECT. And I still have to get my no insurance ticket dropped somehow. Oh yeah, and I need an inspection sticker, which is two months expired by the way.

Murphy's Law. Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

My life could not be more shitty than it is right now. HaHa. I take that back. I'm probably going to lose my driver's lisence on Thursday, and then I have to drive 6 hours home with a expired inspection sticker mostly likely. Please pray that by some mircle of God I actually get home without being arrested first. Maybe if that happens, I'll believe that there actually is a God.

Sad how quickly a person can lose faith when they are dealt a shitty hand. DeAnna said something about karma, but what did I do to deserve bad karma? They made fun of a homeless guy, they got out of an MIP. I just laughed, didn't say a word, and I got a speeding ticket AND an MIP.

Perfection, right?

Yeah, cops are GRAND. Gotta love that justice system.

So let's make a list:

1. I got a 175 dollar speeding ticket.
2. I got a 355 dollar 'no insurance' ticket.
3. My inspection sticker is expired.
4. I can't get it renewed until I recieve a current form of insurance.
5. My dad handles my insurance so he'd have to send it to me. Even then it'd take 3 or 4 days to get here.
6. I might get kicked off of my dad's insurance and might have to start paying for it all myself. This is my 3rd speeding ticket.
7. I can't pay for my insurance myself.
8. I'm moving.
9. I don't have a job.
10. I just got a 370 dollar MIP.
11. I'm going to get my lisense suspended.
12. I'm going to have to do community service. GROSS.
13. I'm going to have to take a alcohol awareness course.
14. I only have 260 dollars in my bank account. As you can see, without a job, that will not be enough to pay for it all.
15. I'm going to have to drive home (4 hours) Thursday without a license.
16. If I get stopped, I go to jail.
17. My dad doesn't and can't know about the MIP.
18. And it all fell apart within 3 fucking days.

But there is a plus.

1. If I'm granted to be able to pay my MIP in a payment plan and if I don't miss the payment deadline, I won't have to pay an extra 25 dollars.
2. At least the hectic and complex stress will only make me that much stronger. HaHa. *ROLLEYES*

I wonder how many times I can say this.

  • Current Mood
    stressed stressed

all i want is freedom, a world with no more light (i think)

Ok so the wonderful world of Amber gets INCREASINGLY better, just you wait. Wow, and I truly did think I had a boring life. In the time span of THREE days, me, with the best luck in the ENTIRE world, somehow manages to get a SPEEDING TICKET. (81 in a 70. Perfection.) And an MIP. Wow. I love it. Do you?

Two days ago, since DeAnna, Becky, and I promised Kyle we'd go visit him, and even though I really didn't have the money to go, we did. Hit negative in my bank account, and no job. The list still keeps piling up.

I'm moving in a few months and now I have this to take care of. WONDERFUL.

I haven't told my dad about the MIP being that I just got it last night, and I don't think I'm going to. I really can't. Because I just got a speeding ticket, he'd make me go home FOR SURE, which would suck. Move back in with the parentals. Yes, I love it.

I don't want this to be that long because frankly, I'm hungover right now. Go figure. *insert eye roll*

I wasn't drunk when I got the MIP. I was sitting out on Becky's balcony. They were smoking, and I was just chilling. DeAnna told me to put my drink down, and I didn't get it down before the cops showed up. The asked me what was in it, I told them. They asked my birthday, and it took everything inside of me to tell them the true. I turn 21 in just a few months, seriously.


On the bright side, they had to call the firetruck earlier that day to get some boy out of a compromised sexual ... position I guess with a peice of wood. HaHa.

Yeah, I love it.

Every cloud has it's silver lining. Although isn't it sad, that that's mine?

[Edit]Ok, so apparently, that wasn't enough. A speeding ticket, a no insurance ticket, and an MIP. To make the oh soooo wonderful week better, I'm not stuck without a mode of transportation. Please, could my life be anymore like Hell?

So I got drunk last night, as you all may know, hence the MIP. Well, technically, that came before so whatever. DeAnna and I got a ride home from Rusty, and I called DeAnna today about our cars. She started calling around, and apparently, got Becky to come pick her up. But because things were so spur of the moment, she completely forgot to call me that lives just 2 houses down. Now, her parents are in town and Becky is going to meet her so that they can go swimming.

Meanwhile, I'm stuck here. I need to go to Walmart to get stuff. I'm hungry and I have no food in my house. I haven't eaten all damn day.

Wow. I love my life.

Can you catch the TINY hint of sarcasm in my words?

  • Current Music
    all i ask of you - the phantom of the opera soundtrack

my new best friend ...

Isn't it weird how things can go from completely comfortable to crazy and hectic all in the blink of an eye? I had a long talk with my dad today, and he seems to think that moving to Dallas is probably best thing for me. My grandparents are really close, well as close as Weatherford, if ever I need anything. And it's ... I don't know.

It's just really weird. I never expected to encounter a problem like this. I was scared to go off to college from high school, when I wasn't going to be alone, when I was going to have like 5 other graduates attending with me.

... Now, I don't.

It's just me. That's it.

But maybe some good can from this? Maybe it'll force me to break out of my shell. I usually don't openly meet new people. They have to be introduced to me through a friend, and even then, sometimes I'm not so welcome. Now, I'll have to step out on my own and do it. Could be a growing experience for me, right?

Well, at least I got the optimist thing down pat.

I haven't even told my room mates yet. Tori had an accident with her dog, and she spent all day at the vet. Apparently, he got out sometime, last night and either got into a fight or got shot. His hip, I forgot what side, is completely shattered, and the vet is going to have to put a metal plate in it to repair it. That's going to cost 2500 dollars. And she still owes me 150. But I can't ask her for it now, not after what happened to her dog.

September 12 is my 21st birthday, and I don't think I'll be around anyone I know to share it with. I'll probably come back down on the weekend. Either that, or DeAnna said she was going to kill me! LoL.

I'm a little worried about Dallas crime and being there on my own. But that will only make me stronger, right?


Think happy thoughts.


So I guess what I'm going to do is take a few hours here a Blinn and transfer into Dallas this fall.

Kyle wants me to go to Baylor really bad, but I don't think that is even a possibility. So expensive. All private schools like that are. *shrug*

I don't know.

Whatever happens, it's meant to be, right?

*nods to self*
  • Current Music
    again. none ...

it has to be monday ...

So I had an advisory appointment today, and I was actually reall excited about it. Because since the last time I'd seen an advisor, I figured out what I wanted to major in. And it was today, that I was going to declare my major and start working toward that goal. I had an appointment set up for today, at 1 oclock.

I get there, and I express to my advisor what it is that I want to major in: journalism. I've always loved to write, I do fairly well at it, and I'm always looking to improve on that skill. Plus, I was loving the idea of working up to working on magazines and things of that nature.. I suddenly had it all figured out so naturally, I was eager to get started on it.

Turns out Texas A&M is doing away with their journalism department. My advisor didn't give me a specific reason as to why, but the class of 06 is the last class to have the opportunity to major in journalism at A&M. I'm class of 07. My advisor said that I could major in Communications and get a certificate in journalism if I was wanting to just stay here, but a certificate doesn't even equal up to the same importance as a minor.

That was out of the question. I finally know what I want to do, but suddenly, I'm unable to stay here to do it. He sent to my email a list of colleges I could transfer to after Blinn this summer, meaning I'd be starting at the chosen college this FALL. I had plans of moving in with Becky and DeAnna, but I don't think that is going to happen now.

I've gotta leave College Station in order to pursue the major I want. I can either go to Houston, which is 2 hours away from here and 6 or so hours away from my hometown. San Marcos (which, E, is right by New Braunfels :)), which is still 2 hours from here, just in a different direction. Dallas, which is 4 hours from here and 4 hours from home, or I could commute from CS to Sam Houston.

I've pretty much ruled the last one out. Huntsville, where Sam Houston is located is only a 30 minute drive from here, but with the gas prices being so outrageous, I couldn't afford to do that, especially on top of rent and bills.

So I really have no other choice. I HAVE to move away from here. I have to go to a place where no one else knows who the hell I am. I had my high school friends here. Now, I won't even have that.

It's a little scary, and a little confusing. I don't understand how all of this could have happened in such a short span of time. But it did, and now I'm left with another choice.

Where do I want to go now?

My answer? I have no fucking clue.
  • Current Music
    none - silence ..

time is on my side ...

Wonder where I got that from? Just watched 'Fallen' with Denzel Washington. E said to me at one time that it was a really good movie and a must rent. I FINALLY rented it. And my verdit? I LOVED it. Yes, she was right. It's a really good movie, with really good drama, action, and twists.

Nicely done on that one.

And another note. That (^) is not really why I came here to offer an update into my life. I went to a Frat party last night, didn't get particularly WASTED, but I was drunk enough.

In the beginning of the night, I went to DeAnna's bar and drank a few, not a lot, of Smirnoff Ice Green Apple drinks. Like 2, I think? Then when that bar closed, DeAnna went to Adam, Justin, and Ryan's, and I went home. Doug was in town, but I didn't go see him. And needless to say, they didn't stay at my home last night. Wonder if he knew that it was because of Andy? I felt bad about not going, but frat party or Doug's show with no Andy?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

So yeah, DeAnna went to Ryan, Adam, and Justin's, and I went home to wait for her to call me, when she was ready to go the frat party. As I understood it, she was going to go home to change first. So I started watching SNL. It wasn't that funny, I grew bored really quickly so instead of continuing to watch, I, too, went to Ryan, Adam, and Justin's. It wasn't that great of there.

But we stayed there for like 30 more minutes and left for the frat party. DeAnna decided she didn't want to change. Becky, Me, DeAnna, Kris (Becky's B/F), and some of his guy friends all loaded up in two vehicles and we starte for the party. When we go there, we had to park a few blocks away b/c the parking was getting so crowded, and they were restricting it for people with parking passes.

After that, our next obstacle came. Without a second glace, Becky, DeAnna, and Myself, the only girls in the group got in swiftly. The boys on the other hand were another story. Because they were men, they weren't allowed in without a wrist band so they had to go. Becky left with them because Kris, of course, is her boyfriend, and DeAnna and I opted to stay since we had seperate vehicles.

She felt bad at first because she thought that Becky was mad at her for doing so. When we finally got a hold of Becky, she said she wasn't. So then DeAnna started drinking more. I had 1 shot, like 1 to 2 margrias, and a few beers. Like I said, I wasn't wasted, but I was drink enough to have a good time.

Josh, Micah, and Zack were they. Zack was drunk and HILARIOUS!

DeAnna and I put her purses in some guys car which would later come back to bite us in the ass. He was a member of the frat, and we asked him for a place to put our purses. Eventually, he led us out to his BMW and said we could just put them in there. When we were getting ready to get them, DeAnna and I walked out to see that the car was now gone. I freaked. I think DeAnna was still a little too drunk to notice. I tracked down like a lot of frat boys and were like do you know anyone that owns a blue BMW, 4 doors. We narrowed it down to a guy named Alex, I think. When they tried calling him, his phone went directly to voicemail. I was panicked.

Later, as we were standing near the enterance gate, still trying to find the guy that had our purses, I spot him walking up. I flip out and ask him where the hell has he been. He and His friend explained that they had to give a drunk person a ride open and then lead us out to get our purses that were still in his car.

What a RELIEF!

After that, we ended up giving a random boy a ride home? B/c he asked, I guess? LoL. Eric, I think his name was.

Then I drove DeAnna's car back to get mine. She ended up calling Jeremy on the way home, and I remember being really pissed at her for doing that. I was drunk too. And I didn't think it was a good since that she was DRUNK DIALING her EX. I just thought the girl was never going to learn. I remember telling her not to talk to me tomorrow b/c I was so pissed. Yep, alcohol probably helped with my rage a little! Lmao.

So over all? The night was fun. I forgot how much I love Frat Parties! Fun stuff.

Oh, and today, I got to ride in my dream car. A BMW Z3 Roadster. I actually want a Z4, but I'm not going to complain one bit! It waas sooo nice. Not at all like a regular convertable. You can't really feel that aweful wind in your face and it going numbr from her hair hitting it feeling. LoL. Yeah, it was good!

Anyway, it's late and I have an appointment with the adviser tomorrow. Nite all! :)
  • Current Music
    none - silence ..